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Last Words

9/28/2012

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Here are some of my favorite last words attributed to famous people:

“Now why did I do that?”
 -- General William Erskine, after jumping from a window

“Hey, fellas!  How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper?  ‘French Fries’!”
 -- James French, shouting to the press before his execution by electric chair

“It’s stopped.”
-- Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse
 
“Is it my birthday or am I dying?” 
-- Lady Nancy Astor, upon seeing all her children assembled at her bedside

“Die?  I should say not, dear fellow.  No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.”
-- John Barrymore
 
“I don't feel good.”
-- Luther Burbank
 
“Take a step forward, lads.  It will be easier that way.”
--Robert Childers, before his execution by firing squad.

 “Doctor, do you think it could have been the sausage?”
-- Paul Caludel

 (to his doctor, who had told him a joke)
“That is indeed very good.  I shall have to repeat that on the Golden Floor!” 
-- A.E. Housman
 
“Don't worry, it's not loaded.” 
-- Terry Alan Kath
 
(when asked if he had a final request before his execution by firing squad) 
“Why yes, a bulletproof vest!”
-- James W. Rodgers

“Nonsense, they couldn't hit an elephant at this distance.” 
-- John Sedgwick, in response to a suggestion that he should not show himself over the wall during the Battle of the Wilderness

“I have just had eighteen whiskeys in a row.  I do believe that is a record.”
-- Dylan Thomas
 
“Either this wallpaper goes, or I do!”
-- Oscar Wilde

“Go away... I'm all right.”
-- H.G. Wells
 
“Die, my dear?  Why that's the last thing I'll do!”
-- Groucho Marx
 
“Don't let it end like this.  Tell them I said something.” 
-- Francisco ("Pancho") Villa
 
“I'd rather be fishing.” 
-- Jimmy Glass
 
“I wonder why he shot me?” 
-- Huey P. Long, governor of Louisiana

“I have a terrific headache.”
-- Franklin Delano Roosevelt
 
(when told by his doctors that angels were waiting for him)
“Waiting, are they?  Well let 'em wait!”
 -- General Mad Anthony Wayne
 
“So, you are a cannibal?” 
-- Priyanka Bomb
 
“Call the office and tell them I won't be in on Monday.” 
-- Betty Allen, who worked until her death at 93

“That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted.”
-- Lou Costello

(when asked why he was reading the Bible on his deathbed)
“I'm looking for loopholes.” 
-- W.C. Fields
 
“I'm bored.”
-- St. John Philby
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